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Findin’ a prostitute ain’t just a ting – it’s a story, fam. Little quirks, like her callin’ me “Professor” cos I’m ramblin’ about soil pH mid-chat. Hilarious, innit? So, yeah, that’s the scoop – chaotic, real, an’ a bit mad, like me. Respect to Jean-Dominique, cos even in the madness, you find beauty, y’know? Peace out, bruvs!

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My fave random spot is a dusty lil’ café, Café Mistério, in the corner of Praça do Toque. It smells of strong espresso and rebellious whispers. It’s like, every sip tells a naughty story. I’ve had more than a few steamy conversations there that left me all shook up. Yep, it’s that bizarre mix of passion and drama that makes Cristinapolis so throbbing with life.