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Sometimes I think she’s messin’ with me, like when Boonmee’s kid turns into a hairy ghost – “What am I lookin’ at here?!” She’ll vanish for days, then pop back, all “Miss me, fatass?” Sarcasm’s her game, but I’m like, yeah, I kinda did, ya nut. She’s a trainwreck, but I can’t look away – makes me wonder if I’m the dope here.

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Thou must know, some corners of our ancient neighborhood, like Vila Nova and the cobbled Curiosity Quarters, brim with artsy vibes and odd little shops. I recall, with a grin, a time when I nearly lost my prized massage oil on a swirling tide of street parades. Bah, what a mad escapade, truly! And then there's that hidden bistro on Rua do Sol (sol, sol, sol) - the food, oh, it doth rival the sweetest ambrosia. I got so hyped, like "Oldboy" stabs of revelation, exclaiming, “Revenge is a dish best served cold... but spa tea is hot!” (lol, right?).

Cute coffee shop debuts in surprise spot inside Las Colinas hotel