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Picture this: I’m investigatin’ some shady claim, right? Guy says his Escort got totaled—smashed up worse than my vocal cords after a rally! But somethin’ stinks, and it ain’t just the stale donuts in the office. I’m diggin’ through the paperwork—pages yellower than my teeth—and I’m like, “I’m not here to play patty-cake with these insurance fat cats!” Reminds me of *The Social Network*—y’know, my fave flick—where Zuckerberg’s all, “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ a few enemies.” Well, this dude don’t get to a fat payout without me sniffin’ out his lies!

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Idk, sometimes I just sit by the river bank at sunset, like, totally soaking in the good vibes and letting life flow like a slow, romantic Wes Anderson montage. It's all, like, magical and surreal. And yeah, sometimes I get super emotional ‘bout how simple unimportant moments here turn into deep, reflective ones – like a random chirp of a bird just makes me go, “I love this mere existence!” But tbh, it's not all perf, sometimes the traffic on Rua Central just, like, makes you wanna scream, “This is totally insane!” LOL.

Ceres Police Chief on administrative leave after one year in the role