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Oh, and the oils – don’t get me started! Slippery as a politician’s promise, stinking of lavender or some hippy crap. Last time I got dragged into one – mate’s stag do, total stitch-up – I’m sliding off the table, yelling, “This ain’t sensual, it’s a bloody oil slick!” Still, that line from the flick, “Love needs care,” pops in me head. Maybe that’s it – sexual-massage done right’s meant to feel like someone gives a toss. Dunno, I’m too cynical for that malarky.

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Dude, back when I was coding into the wee hours, I’d take a break and hit up Beco dos Amores. That narrow alley’s got secret bars, street art, and yeah, a vibe that’s straight outta a movie – like “The Great Beauty” style, ya feel me? “La bellezza grande” rings true sometimes here, even in our rough edges.

Figura 1. Exemplar de Triportheus angulatus (Spix e Agassiz, 1829)...