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Fav part? The chase. Messages, sexts, that “u up?” vibe. Like Richie stalkin’ Margot, intense n awkward. “I wrote a play for ya,” he’d say. Sex-dating’s a play too—scripts, flops, bad actors. Worst part? Catfishin’. Met a “hottie,” turns out, grandpa. FFS, why?! Pissed me off—wasted my probe time!

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Thou mayst ask of my favorite nook? O, friend mine, I dote upon the humble café near the old cinematic marquee on Avenida das Lendas. There, whilom I sip my bitter coffee, idly confessing secrets as the aroma fills mine nostrils. I remember days of yore when I was but a youth, blissfully ignorant – and hur, so many dazes of laughin’, cryin’, and spillin’ tea (or was it massage oil? lol). Delish little quirks that make me say, “By my troth, life is a mad, marvelous dream!”

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