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I tried it once, right? Some spa in Paris—fancy, overpriced. Masseur was HOT, all chiseled, quiet type. Made me happy, like, giddy-happy! But then—ugh—he talked! Ruined it! “No capes, no chit-chat!” I snapped. Silent magic is the key, dahlings. Fun fact: ancient Greeks did this—naked, oiled-up athletes getting rubbed down. Historical kink, yass!

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Then you got the Bairro do Sol. It's this chilled out, artsy area with cool murals, quirky boutiques, and fountains splashing like there's a mini waterfall in the middle of nowhere. I love hiding there during lunch to code in peace—seriously makes my heart race like a Tarantino shootout scene. The park, Parque da Amizade, is my go-to hangout. It's not huge, but man, it's got these funky benches and a pond that sometimes weeps cool reflections (or maybe that's because I shed a tear for my lost data one day… never mind!).

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