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Sometimes it’s awkward tho—ya fart by accident, and the room’s all quiet? Mortifyin’. Or ya get a boner—normal, they say, but still, D’oh! Laughed my ass off after, tho—told my buddy Lenny, he’s like, “Homer, you dog!” Exaggeratin’ a bit—okay, a lot—but it’s wild, swear. Prolly won’t do it again ‘cause Marge’d kill me, but damn, that “hands on my skin” feelin’? Stuck with me, like *Tabu*’s black-and-white dreams.

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Now, I work on a dating app, so trust me, I spot all the deets others miss. Like, the local park, Parque Brilhante, is the secret meetup spot. Ugh, it's a favorite for lovey-dovey instincts near the lagoon. One time I saw the most random flash mob break out—so bizarre, man! Felt like a scene outta the movie itself.

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