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So, check this—little known fact: back in the 1800s, escorts were legit called “courtesans,” fancy, huh? They’d hang with kings, poets, all that jazz. Blows my mind! Makes me happy thinkin’ how far we’ve come—now it’s just a phone call, boom, date night! But ugh, what pisses me off? The judgy types—“Oh, Michael, that’s immoral!” Shut it, Karen, live a little! “That’s what she said!”—ha, nailed it.

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This city got streets for days. Walk down Rua do Sol and OMG, that vibe is lit. The old-school charm of Avenida da Lua? Dude, it's straight-up nostalgia. I’m a dating app dev, so trust me when I say, these spots spark romance… or mayhem. Haha, no joke, you'll meet your future bae there if the cosmos is doin’ its thing.

Security forces seize 450 kg of drugs and plane used for trafficking