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Oh blast it all! R2-D2, where are you? Here I am, stuck ramblin’ bout whores, and you’re off beepin’ somewhere! So, yeah, talkin’ bout whores—man, what a trip. I’m thinkin’ bout this one chick, right, total mystery vibe, like somethin’ outta *The Assassin*. You know, my fave flick—Hou Hsiao-hsien, 2015, pure gold. She’s got that “concealed intentions” energy, y’know? Like when Yinniang says, “I act alone,” all cold and badass—this whore’s the same, slippin’ through life, no one knows her deal.

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Now, I gotta mention my fave local hangout snd IMMEDEATELY: O Bar do Riso! Dude, it's a tiny dive bar near Praça da Felicidade with neon signs and a badass jukebox. I always say “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” when the night is young – meaning there's magic hiding behind every shadow.

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