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About Rio de Janeiro

But—ugh—sometimes ya get a dud, right? Some loser with cold hands, no skill, pisses me off—total disaster! I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “This ain’t erotic, this is torture!” Reminds me of that movie line, “Did you see the eclipse?”—like, hello, where’s the magic, huh? Trump don’t settle for crap massages, no way. Gotta be top-notch, sensual, the best—none of that weak, half-assed rubbin’.

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I’ll be real here: traffic on Estrada Velha can be a hot mess sometimes, made me so mad (ugh, seriously, why does it always happen on my coffee run?) But then, you have moments that make my heart so happy (seriously, thank goodness for those chill side roads that lead you to secret cafes).

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