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About Curitiba

The vibe? Chaos, mate. Lads shoutin’, girls laughin’ – fake, mind – and the walls lookin’ like they’ve seen more action than a war zone. Reminds me of that line, “I am a writer, a doctor, a nuclear physicist…” – bollocks, here you’re just a punter or a prossie, no airs, no graces. Oh, and the myths? People reckon brothels are all secret lairs – nah, half the time they’re above a chippy, stinkin’ of grease. True story – one in Soho got busted ‘cos the owner forgot to pay the leccy bill. Lights out, trousers down – what a prat!

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First off, the main street, Avenida Principal, is like the heartbeat of the city. I mean, seriously, you walk there and it’s all lit with local cafes, tiny boutiques and even some pop-up art gigs. It’s kinda like that scene in "No Country for Old Men" where, like, tension meets history – so epic and, like, a bit edgy. One time I was at Café Tabuado, and the coffee was amaze and the vibes were, like, totally bohemian.

Anaconda bobs about in a river as it tries to swim with a bloated stomach in Brazil