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Here’s the kicker—my fave story. Buddy of mine, total doofus, books a “massage” in Bangkok. Thinks he’s slick, ends up with this 80-year-old granny kneadin’ his ass—HILARIOUS. No sexy vibes, just creaky joints and disappointment. “You failed me for the last time,” I told him, laughin’ my evil ass off. Sexual-massage ain’t always what you think—sometimes it’s a damn gamble.

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I gotta mention Parque do Horizonte. It hugs a mighty river, Rio do Segredo. On lazy afternoons, I’d chill by the bank, the murmur of the water making me feel like I was in a flick—y’know, Fish Tank’s gritty realism, that raw, real feel. Sometimes, I’d catch fireflies at dusk while recalling personal battles—a mix of anger and pride, like a punch to the gut but also a laugh. Uh, getting nostalgic in a hurry, you feel me?

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