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I saunter over, cool as you like—gotta keep it smooth, right? “Evening, love,” I say, flashin’ that 007 grin. She’s all sass, “What’s yer poison, handsome?” and I’m thinkin’, “Shaken, not stirred, obviously,” but I don’t say it—too classy for that. Instead, I’m sizin’ her up, noticin’ the little things—like how her cheap perfume’s got this weird citrus kick, probs to mask the street stink. Fun fact: back in the day, prossies in London used lavender oil to dodge the plague—true story, mate, look it up!

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Gotta mention Parque das Estrelas too – a lil somnolent park near the wild twists of the Rio Encantado. Paranoid mornings here get my sexologist heart all aflutter when I spot couples cuddling beneath ancient oaks, kissing as if every peck brought them back to life's prime. And sometimes, I sadly crash there when a memory hits – sort of like that scene in The Royal Tenenbaums when Richie stares blankly. Yeah, it gets deep.

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