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About Salvador

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially frilly nonsense like erotic-massage. Buncha half-naked weirdos rubbin’ each other, callin’ it “relaxation.” Gimme a break. Watched *Carlos*—you know, my kinda flick—gritty, real, none of this touchy-feely crap. Carlos’d shoot up a parlor like that, no hesitation. “I exist to destroy,” he’d say, and I’d cheers to that with a Lagavulin, neat.

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Now, some lesser-known spots: There's a hidden little diner on Avenida das Flores that only locals know abotu. Their cream buns? Legit amazing, and they’ll make ya go “bro, this is so gud,” every time! Another quirky flaw is that every time I rush to catch my date appointments, I get completely lost in the labyrinth of alleyways; so much so, I always end up on a totally random street – never planned, always an adventure, like a scene from a surreal dream.

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