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Once heard – get this – ancient Greeks did it, butt-naked, post-gym! Called it “massage with benefits,” ha! Them sly dogs, rubbin’ more than shoulders. Made me laugh, picturin’ Socrates gettin’ frisky. Bet he’d say, “Know thyself, precious!” while oilin’ up.

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Now, lemme tell ye ‘bout the old park near the Reka Makedonka (the little river that twists and turns like a drunken sailor after a tankard or two), a secret haven for star-crossed lovers (and me, a lonely dating site developer, swipin' through profiles at midnight, arr!). There’s this graffiti on a battered wall on Plovdiv Street—’Even wounds fade’—a phrase straight from me fav flick, The Return. Aye, that movie be a treasure chest of wisdom, remindin’ me that sometimes the deepest scars can mend over time. "Where is the beach?" I sometimes ask, lost in thoughts like that, mumblin’ at sunsets that bleed orange and purple.

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