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Here’s a tip—don’t be dumb. Cash only, no cards, no trace. Obvious, but morons still screw it up. Heard a story—guy paid with a check once. A CHECK. Got his ass hauled in by his wife, not the law. Funniest damn thing ‘til I realized how pathetic it was. Hate that kinda stupidity. Another trick—watch for cops. They’re sneaky, dress up like ‘em sometimes. Entrapment’s their wet dream.

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Oh, and don’t even get me started on the views! The Rhodope mountains loom over Smolyan – they’re like ancient guardians watchin’ over us. I even get chills when I see them at sundown. That’s right – little café near the bank of the Veleka River, where locals goss up ‘bout how once, in a stormy night, a lightning bolt split an old oak tree in two. Crazy, right? Made me mad too! But yep, it’s all part of our weird, quirky charm.

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