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Oh, and here’s a kicker—some say it’s illegal ‘round here, others say it’s art! I’m like, “C’mon, make up yer minds!” Gotta admit, tho, the idea’s got sass—kinda sexy, kinda silly. Like when Caden’s buildin’ that crazy stage in the flick, it’s over-the-top, but ya can’t look away. Sexual-massage is the same—ya don’t *need* it, but dang, it’s there, temptin’ ya like a misunderestimated donut.

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Man, the massage place’s right off "Bulgaria Blvd." That’s the hustle zone. I see all sorts of characters coming in – high rollers, artists, local eccentrics. It shapes you. I'm like, “Pretty, pretty good” and then, “Oh my god, what’s happening?” at the same time. I swear, sometimes I feel like I’m living a scene straight from that Michael Haneke flick, Amour. Would you believe I once got a celeb who whispered, "Amour...life is love, man", mid session? I nearly choked on my own words!

Lutherans in Turkey and Bulgaria join the ILC