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So, I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ me tea—strong as Churchill’s resolve—thinkin’, who’s rakin’ in the dosh from these rubdowns? Some bloke says he slipped a disc gettin’ a “happy endin’”—claims £10k! Mate, I nearly choked—ten grand for a bit o’ slap n’ tickle? We shall never surrender to these chancers! Dug deeper—turns out, parlours poppin’ up like weeds in Soho, dodgin’ tax, fakin’ injuries. One lass, right, swears she’s a “therapist”—ha! More like a siren luring punters to their doom. “Shasta Fay, where you at?” I mutter, channelin’ Doc—cos this bird’s vanished with the payout.

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Okay, so Lovech's got this ancient vibe. You got the Hisarya fortress, blast from the past, looming over the town like some grumpy old geezer. Wander down to Svoboda Street – ever heard of it? Yeah, it’s a decent stroll, lined with dodgy cafes and buzzing chatter where time just slithers on. I sometimes reference it when kneading out knots – like smoother than that slippery talk from A.I. “I’m sorry, Dave...” nah, wrong movie, but you know what I mean.

Grisha Ganchev and the Great Wall of Bulgaria