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But don’t get it twisted – some shit’s dark. Saw a dude get too handsy once, bouncer tossed him out faster than you can say “Can you smell what The Rock is cookin’?” Good riddance, prick. HATE that crap. Makes me wanna flex and yell, “Know your role, jabroni!” – keep it respectful or get wrecked.

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Listen, my job as a masseur gives me a secret pass to the quirky nooks. I know every bump and twitch on folks' backs. I've seen tension vanish in seconds at the riverside park – that's near Dobrogeya, where the little creek gurgles like nature's own idle chit-chat. It’s like the universe whisperin’ "I’m here, sweet chaos!" Sometimes I wonder if the universe is as mad as me, ya know?

Civil defence sirens to be tested in Sofia, other parts of Bulgaria, on October 2