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So, picture this: a prossie—let’s call her Candy, ‘cause why not? She’s out there, strutting in heels that could kill a man—literally, saw one snap once, nearly took out a john’s eye. Hilarious, but pissed me off—wasted my damn time watching. Candy’s got this vibe, y’know? Like Penny Lane from the flick—mysterious, broken, but owns it. “I always tell the girls, never take it seriously,” Penny says. Candy’s the same—smirks at the losers panting after her, but her eyes? Dead. Lies to herself every night.

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I know it sounds extra, but trust me—my counselling makes me see layers of life dripping over every brick. Take, for example, the rundown alley by the sea, hidden behind the town hall. I call it “The Alley of Stifled Dreams.” It’s creepy, sad, but also magically hopeful in a twisted kind of way. I always say: “Life is a beautiful mess,” like that gnarly Oldboy moment where truth slaps you in the face.

Queen Mary's heart in a silver box exhibited in the Romanian city of Suceava