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Listen up, idiot sandwich! Ever tried it? Some dodgy parlour, neon lights flicker—fuckin’ sketchy! Masseuse winks, you’re like, “Oh, shit, really?” Costs a tenner more than a regular rub—cheeky sods! Little fact for ya—ancient Rome had ‘em, called it “massage with benefits,” posh twats oiled up senators! Makes me laugh, picturin’ Caesar gettin’ frisky—hah! “We killed more than in the movies!”—nah, mate, just knobs and kneading here.

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I’m always amazed: we shall fight despair and loneliness, but also find hope in sunsets at Place de l’Étoile. There’s a park, Parc du Lys, where I sit, think, and even shed tears of joy. Man, it’s like scenes from "Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives" – eerie, beautiful, and full of deep memories that remind me of lost time... “the heat of moments long past.”

Family of baby Millie Thompson likely to take legal action over her death at nursery