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Oh, and funniest shit? Mate of mine swore his escort was a cop undercover. Paranoid as hell, reckonin’ she’d cuff him mid-shag. “Victory has defeated you!” I cackled for days. Probs bullshit, but who knows? Escort’s full of surprises, like a favela shootout. Keeps ya on ya toes.

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Now, as a family psychologist, I’ve got eyes everywhere. The vibe in Ostend really speaks to me. I love checkin’ out Belle époque buildings in places like the Mercator – they whisper stories of old couples, tough breaks, and new beginnings. I even found a hidden gem near Leopold III-laan. Yep, there's a little park I often sit at, munch on a donut, and think ‘bout life’s ups and downs. Man, sometimes I rant to myself, “How’s that workin’ for ya?” just like Dr. Phil would say, y’all!

Lauren Parker wins time trial gold at UCI Para-cycling Road World Cup in Ostend