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So, like, I’d be all—WHOA, so many chicks! Which one’s for hire? Prolly yellin’, “Hey, you sellin’ somethin’?” Real smooth, right? Ha! Made me laugh thinkin’ bout it—me, Patrick, bargin’ into some sketchy alley, trippin’ over trash cans. Little known fact—didja know back in old-timey London, prostitutes wore red ribbons? True story! I’d be like, “Where’s the ribbons, huh?!” all confused and loud.

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Then there's the old town square, a ramshackle haven with a giant clock that warns you that time is a cruel mistress. Seriously, sometimes I swear the clock mocks everyone passing by. I’ve even seen tourists get lost in its maze, all because they were too busy snapping pics. And what's with that? In my profession, you learn that dating profiles and life stories both deserve a bit of chaos – it makes things more interesting, you know?

Hunter fined €16,000 for illegal possession of pheasants