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But crikey, the prices! Fifty quid for a “quickie”? I’m like, “Mate, I jump outta planes for less thrill!” *mimes parachutin’, lands on bum* Total rip-off, got me fumin’—could buy a fancy hat instead, y’know? Still, was curious—did ya know prossies in Amsterdam got unions? Proper legit, fightin’ for rights, blows me mind! This one lass, tho, she was chill, no airs, just “Take me as I am,” like Carol says. Loved that, made me grin like a daft git.

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www.facebook.com will allow you to view the massage parlors in your area. Most actual websites for ordering one up have been taken down lately. That’s your best bet. Willing to bet if you fire up Missing: Nivelles.

I also love me long walks in Parc du Cinquantenaire. Calm spot, trees, calm water. I say, "I see you come, you feel my soul", hmm, reminds me of movie quotes, very poetic style. And there's that river, the Senne, see? Flow slow, like my massage strokes. It run past place called Tour & Taxis (nah, that's near Brussels, but we got cool bits like that here too!)

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