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About Brussels

Oi, precious, listen up! Me, the Arborist, yeah, got a wild tale bout findin a prostitute. We loves it, we hates it! Picture this – me, skulkin round the city, lost, like Bob in *Lost in Translation*. “What… is… this… place?” I mutters, all confused, streets buzzin, lights flashin. I’m lookin for a lass, right, someone to chat with, maybe more, heh. We hates the fakes, though! Them girls with too much makeup – ugh, like clowns, we swears it!

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Oh, and don’t miss the old market square near the Kinrooi river — its babbling water hums like a software update that never ends. There's also a park, De Zonnestraal, where kids laugh and old folks bench-chuckle 'bout 4G signals. I even had a mad rant when a stray cat blocked my view of the neat, mechanical lines of a new dating site interface. Stupid, I tell ya!

Maarten Truijen is the new Mister Gay Belgium