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I’m pissed, tho—why’s it so tricky? Small town blues, man! Web’s all “search X, browse sites,” but I’m scared Marge’d catch me. “Homer, you pig!” she’d scream. Happy tho—imaginin’ it’s like *Great Beauty*, all glamorous, not sleazy. “Life’s a parade,” Jep says—I’d strut, fat gut and all, lookin’ for my Roman fling! D’oh! Prolly trip over Apu’s trash first.

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Then there's the Misery River—yeah, I named it that, don't shoot me. Flows by Rue de l’Aube. People say it's beautiful, as if the water had a soul. I ain't buying it. But it's oddly soothing on stormy nights when all hopes fade, and the city feels lonely, like a bad movie waitin' for credits.

"Strong asparagus volumes expected just in time for Easter"