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About Mons

So there I was, pissed off, cos the pubs were dry of decent company. We shall fight the silence, the empty beds! Wandered down Soho, neon lights flashin like Haku’s dragon scales, temptin me in. Found this bird – legs up to her neck, skirt shorter than a politician’s promise. “How much, love?” I says, heart thumpin like a drum solo. She grins, all sly, “Fifty quid, big boy.” Fifty! Blimey, I nearly choked – coulda bought a bleedin amp for that!

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My days start with bitter coffee at 7am on Vlierstraat. I nearly choke that morning brew thinking of dirty deeds. "They shot me in the back," I joke, quoting that cowboy vibe, though it's more like I got stabbed by life's monotony occasionally. Heaven forbid we forget, every street, every face here tells a story. Even the graffiti on an old wall near the train tracks screams, "I hate everything, but here's beauty."

Peter Sagan sees off sprint rivals to win E3 Harelbeke in Belgium