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Now, I reckon it’s a right art, this sexual-massage lark. Not just a quick fumble – no, no, *ars longa, vita brevis*, takes skill! Them ancient Greeks, they knew it – little-known fact, yeah? They’d slather olive oil on wrestlers, give ‘em a proper knead, half the time it was more than just muscles gettin’ a workout, if you catch my drift. Proper saucy stuff! Gets the blood pumpin’, makes you feel alive – “I drink your milkshake!” I’d yell, if I were the one gettin’ rubbed. Power in them hands, mate, pure power.

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Then there's the River Vesle, sneaking through the city like a silky ribbon. Sometimes, I sit by its banks with my meditation cushion. Hey, deep relax mode, right? I vibe on its sound—it's like nature's lullaby for your soul. I sometimes even joke that the river sings Beyoncé ballads. Legend!

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