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So yeah, findin’ a prostitute – it’s dodgy, it’s wild. Ya gotta feel the vibe, like Apichatpong’s lens, slow and strange. “We’re just like clouds,” I hums, dodgin’ drunks and filth. Mate, it’s a game, a hunt – and Gollum’s the best, yesss, precious! Stupid, fat hobbit wouldn’t last a minute!

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Now, if you're lookin’ for nature, you gotta check out Mermaid Park. Yep, it got a little pond called Dory’s Drift. True story – I once got into a heated rub session there; I swear the healing power of nature's vibes softened even my toughest muscle knots. And – oh man – the sunrise by the river called Nemo’s Flow is somethin’ else. Magical times, just like that iconic movie moment!

Suspect accused of murdering love rival turns himself over to police