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Still, mate, it’s a wild gig – sex escorts dodgin’ coppers, livin’ large, laughin’ at the squares. One time, this gal told me she banked 10k in a week – bloody hell, I nearly choked! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares? She’s got sass, and I’m here for it. Sarcasm drips off me – “Oh, darling, savin’ the world one shag at a time?” She smirked, game on.

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I stroll through Dorpstraat with a smirk. Every corner tells a story. The town centre is old school. Quaint shops meet bizarre art. You see the majestic church of St. Amandus. Sterile details? Hell, no! It’s full of character, like me.

Crowd gathers to celebrate cycling world champion Remco Evenepoel in Brussels