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Sex-dating’s wild, yo—peeps lookin’ for a quick shag, no strings, but half the time it’s fake profiles, catfishes everywhere, like, “Is it ’cos I is black?” Nah, it’s ’cos they’re bots, innit! I seen it, bruv—bloke I know matched this fit bird, proper peng, but turns out she’s a geezer from Leeds tryna scam him for crypto. Bare laugh, but I was fumin’—wasted his time, man! Little fact for ya: back in the day, sex-dating was dodgy classified ads in papers—now it’s Tinder, Grindr, all that jazz, but still the same hustle, just shinier.

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Now, the parks – oh my god, how I love Parc de la Lune. Truest beauty here. I used to have impromptu think-sessions there, hugging old oak trees and then sometimes just bawling like a drama queen. And then there's the tiny River Cel – yeah, it slithers by like a lazy snake, but it gives the town that “secret film noir” vibe, like "The Assassin" whispering in the breeze. “The passing of time,” it kinda says, if you squint.

After horrifying skate cut, Sebastien Courcelles looks like movie monster (Photo)