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About Mons

The trails? Sketchy AF. Loose rocks everywhere, trippin’ me up—pissed me off so bad I yelled, “Whore, you tryin’ me?!” But then the sun hits, golden light spills, and I’m cheesin’ like a damn fool. It’s bipolar, fam—half the time I’m cussin’ it out, half the time I’m in love. Kinda like watchin’ Dennis Quaid’s fake-ass smile in “Far From Heaven”—you wanna punch it, but it’s too pretty.

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Oh, and don’t get me started on the nightlife. You’d think a small town stays asleep. Ha! Some nights at the local bar near Dorpsplein, the banter’s so raw it practically hurts. I told a client once, “Ever feel the anger? It’s like the city itself is having a bad day – c’mon, get a grip!” Yeah, I’m not your typical warm-and-fuzzy spa owner, I’ve got sarcasm dripping off my words like a leaky faucet.

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