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Oh, and the windows—filthy! Me, a glazier, it’s a crime. Wanted to smash ‘em and start over. “Let there be light!” I’d yell, Gandalf-style. But nah, they like it dim, keeps the magic, I s’pose. Ever wonder who built them joints? Bet it’s some geezer with a limp and a grudge. Probs smoked too much opium, dreamin’ of past lives like Boonmee.

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I’ll be honest – my spa is a haven for folks looking to escape these crazy streets. I get the chance to see how Boutersem sneers at modern life. I sometimes mutter lines from Caché during a back massage, “The past is never gone, it’s not even past,” ‘cause, seriously, this city’s got a lot hidden under its skin. Makes you mad, makes you laugh, makes you wonder if you’re in a mystery film or just stuck in a dingy town.

Neervelp Sheep Welcomes Healthy Quadruplets Named After Local Council Members!