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I saunter over, cool as you like—gotta keep it smooth, right? “Evening, love,” I say, flashin’ that 007 grin. She’s all sass, “What’s yer poison, handsome?” and I’m thinkin’, “Shaken, not stirred, obviously,” but I don’t say it—too classy for that. Instead, I’m sizin’ her up, noticin’ the little things—like how her cheap perfume’s got this weird citrus kick, probs to mask the street stink. Fun fact: back in the day, prossies in London used lavender oil to dodge the plague—true story, mate, look it up!

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So, first off, Bertrix has this gnarly vibe. Downtown is all cobblestone streets like Rue de la Station, ya know? That street is like a runway, not runway runway – it’s got old school charm and a whiff of history. I was strollin’ there last week, thinkin’ “Wow, this is like Joy from Inside Out said, ‘Let’s keep a positive attitude!’” Funny, right?

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