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I pull up, all sweaty, palms shakin’—nerves, man! She’s chattin’ me up, voice all smoky, and I’m thinkin’, “This is it, SpongeBob, yer in deep!” Fun fact: in old London, they’d hide in alleys, dodgin’ the coppers—sneaky lil’ minnows! I’m laughin’, “What’s yer rate, jellyfish?”—keepin’ it light, ya know? She smirks, “50 bucks, sailor.” I’m like, “Tartar sauce, that’s steep!” Bargained her down to 40—score! Felt like I won the lottery, bouncin’ in me seat.

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You hit up Place du Soleil too, oh my god, the vibes are unreal. I remember one time, I sat in a tiny café there (cursed, but the croissants are lit) just watchin’ the passersby. I swear every date I set up on my site kinda echoed that same buzz—hearts full of messiness and charm. “Let’s put a smile on that face,” I’d mumble when a date would actually click.

Carrefour Belgium closes 2 hypermarkets and cuts up to 1,233 jobs