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Fun fact, tho—did ya know sex-dating apps got algorithms? They track your swipes, pimpin’ you out to the highest bidder—shady as hell! Makes me wanna scream, “I must break you!” at the coders. Still, I’m hooked. It’s chaotic, sloppy, sexy—like art, ya feel me? One night, I matched this painter chick—legs for days, smelled like turpentine. We banged, talked movies, quoted, “This is our city,” over cheap whiskey. Best date ever, no lie.

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Anyway, da city can make ya mad sometimes, like when da buses run late on Zigzag Road – proper annoyin’ but keeps it real. Ain’t all doom n gloom though – da peeps are mad friendly, always crackin’ up on street corners, droppin’ snappy one-liners like “Spring, summer, fall, winter…and Spring!” – that hit me hard, bruv.

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