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I spot her – red heels, smirk sharp as mjolnir. “What’s a god like you want?” she quips. Cheeky! I’m chuffed, honestly – love a lass with sass. “I’m burdened with glorious purpose,” I grin, tippin’ my imaginary hat. She rolls her eyes – fair, I’d do the same. Costs a tenner more than I reckon, tho – bloody rip-off! Made me mad, that did. Hagglin’ with a prossie ain’t regal, but I’m Loki, I’ll barter with a troll if I fancy.

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I must admit, I got 19 epic typos in my head. Errrs, rly, so many: improtant, vibin, awesom, rad, streeet, reallly, happey, soomthing, cray, feelin, mischievious, adree, so, awful, incorect, diffcult, joy, amazng, special… you get it, it's all over the place!

Epitaphs for first world war fallen offer glimpse of unprecedented loss