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Here’s a kicker—Victorians, prudes, right? Nah, they had “pelvic massages” for “hysteria”—docs fingerin’ ladies to calm ‘em down. Hilarious, fuckin’ wild, and true! Bet they’d blush at Carol’s “Flung out of space” line—too poetic for their dirty lil secret. Me, I’d watch that movie mid-massage, oil slickin’, Cate Blanchett’s voice purrin’—perfection, Clarice, pure fuckin’ perfection. What surprised me? How some masseuses sneak a wink—unspoken deal, “Want more?” Naw, I’m good, just keep it legit, ya perv.

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I won’t lie, sometimes I get mad at all the noise near the old community centre (I think it’s on Vredeplein – people party too hard sometimes, ya know? LOL). But then I remember every heartbreak and laugh shared with women here, and it feels like home – like some scene outta that film, where life is bittersweet but oh so real.

André & Bert Leideman (Hardenberg, NL) achieve brilliant results, winning a 1-2-3-4 from Asse-Zellik against 11,474 pigeons