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About Antwerp

It’s sensual, yeah, but not always *nudge nudge*. Sometimes it’s just—relaxin’, proper *otium*. Surprised me, that—thought it’d be all saucy, but nah, can be chill. Like when Eduardo says, “I was your only friend”—imagine him givin’ a backrub instead of a lawsuit! Funny, innit? Oh, and—pro tip—don’t fart mid-massage. Did that once, mortifyin’—lass laughed, I turned redder than a London bus!

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I gotta rant 'bout the park on Dorpstraat. Tiny patch of green, but it’s my hideaway, ya know? Felt so epic watchin’ locals jog past, bleary eyed, wobbling ’round like they’ve lost their minds. And that fountain near the old brewery? Pure poetry in concrete—spitting out water like it’s mad at the world. “I choose violence,” I told that fountain once, but it just stood there, cold and unyielding.

A tasting guide: Exploring the flavours of Belgian trappist beers