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Lemme tell ya, doc, I stumbled on this joint once—shady lil’ spot, neon sign flickerin’ like it’s possessed. Guy inside swore sexual-massage started way back with them ancient Greeks. Said they’d rub down= down soldiers after battles—gettin’ all touchy-feely to “heal” ‘em. True? Who knows! Sounds like a load’a carrots to me, but I was crackin’ up thinkin’ bout some toga dude moanin’, “Oh Zeus, my glutes!” Made me laugh so hard I nearly choked on my carrot stick.

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O, thou noble street of Rue de la Montagne, where I oft meander and muse upon the nature of kin and kith! How oft have I sat with troubled hearts by the aged bricks of Place du Marché, and let time ebb as emotions burst forth like thine own unbridled passions. "Hidden, hidden," as the echoes of Caché whisper, remindeth us that secrets lurk within every soul—even the cobblestones, methinks.

2 teens who went missing from Waterloo region last month located: Police