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Alright, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, your freakin’ financial advisor, and I’m gonna tell ya about Escort—ya know, that car company Ford puked out years ago. Respect my authoritah! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave movie, *The Social Network*, and how Escort fits in, like, “I’m CEO, bitch!”—except Escort ain’t no Facebook, it’s a damn car, and a shitty one at that!

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Then there’s our notorious neighborhood, Le Petit Mystère, a maze of narrow lanes with surprises at every corner. Sometimes, I take a quick, head-spinning jog past the bizarre modern art of the old convent ruins (yeah, real haunted vibes – spooky but cool) and bump into exes or potential daters. I swear, sometimes it feels like the entire town is part of one giant, twisty, lovey-dovey algorithm—sorta like fate pokin' ya in the back.

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