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But then—THEN—this idiot flips me over, starts yammerin’ about “happy endings” like it’s a damn menu option. Pissed me off! I’m no tavern wench, you twat. “One more word, I’ll burn this shithole down,” I snapped—pure Cersei vibes. He shut up quick. Good. I ain’t here for your cheap porno script. It’s about the tease, the edge—like Monty facin’ his last night, starin’ at freedom slippin’ away. “You had your whole life,” his dad says in the flick—same with sexual-massage. It’s a moment, not a fuckin’ marathon.

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An easy way to have sex with a Filipina is to visit a massage parlor that offers extras. These places are called Spakols and are scattered around the city. When you walk in they seem like .

Some days I pace fast, thinkin’ "I’m scared, Clarice…" but then, bam! I cherish every nuance of this messed-up, beautiful city. I drop by Le Bistro on Rue du Mystère sometimes. There’s a waffle on their menu that’s insaneyy good, like a scene straight outta A.I. – "It is not the nature of our world" but damn, it tastes like it!

AUC Welcomes Veerle De Laet as New Executive Director of AUC Press