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About Bruges

So, check it — findin’ a prozzie ain’t just strollin’ down some skanky street. Nah, it’s an art, like Boonmee seein’ them spirits floatin’ around. Back in the day, Russia — yeah, my fake science title says I know this — they had these secret brothels, even under them commie bastards! Little known fact: some Soviet bigwigs banged hookers while preachin’ purity. Hypocrites! Makes me laugh my fat ass off!

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Oh, and don’t get me started on the river. The tiny Rivière d’Espérance meanders quietly, almost like it’s got secrets to share. Sometimes, I cross its rickety old bridge and think, “We shall drink from its waters, if there’s any truth in fairy tales!” And sometimes, I get mad – yeah, truly mad – about the city council planning to pave over a hidden garden along the river. I was like, “No offence, but what the freak, man!” My heart jumped, like a code error when I least expected it, you know?

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