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Oh, and get this – funny bit – her pimp’s this geezer, looks like a bleedin’ walrus, mustache and all! I’m crackin’ up, thinkin’, “This cat’s a right muppet!” Nearly blew the deal laughin’, but I kept it cool, yeah. In me head, I’m like, “Austin, you’re a legend, shaggin’ through time!” Wrapped it up quick, no faff, just fun – “It’s all in the past now,” like the movie says, and I’m off, smilin’.

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Anyways, my mate, just roll up and hit the streets. Walk, laugh, and soak it all in. The town’s as unexpected as a dating app match that feels real – pure digital heart meets gritty, raw life, a proper mash-up of emotions. Trust me, Sijsele’s got more feel than a rom-com montage – and that’s no joke, innit?

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