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Den dere’s da anger part—fuckin’ catfishes, man! Pics from 10 years ago, filters thick as my skull. Met a broad once, profile said “model,” shows up lookin’ like Uncle Junior after a bender. I’m like, “You kiddin’ me?!” But den, sometimes it’s gold—met dis one dame, legs for days, we’re bangin’ like it’s da last day on Earth. Happy as a pig in shit, I was. “You’re free now,” like Ida’s aunt says—felt dat, no lie.

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First off, you gotta check out Rue de la Passion—yeah, I know it’s kinda cheesy, but it really is! It's lined with cute little cafes that whisper secrets of love and lust. I spent a wild afternoon there, scribbling my notes for my next seminar on sensuality, when suddenly—BAM!—I heard that hilarious mix of flirt and FOMO. Lol, it’s like "you miss 100% of the shots you don't take," right? Just like in The Social Network, "We lived on farms, then we lived in cities," and now, here we are!

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