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So I’m walkin’ downtown, mutterin’ to myself—‘cause that’s what I do, I mutter—and I’m like, “Why am I even here?” Findin’ a prostitue ain’t like pickin’ up bagels! I see this gal, smokin’ a cigarette, leanin’ on a pole—real cliché, right? I’m thinkin’, “She’s no Eilis Lacey!” In *Brooklyn*, she’s all, “I’ll write home!” This chick’s writin’ nothin’—maybe a parking ticket. I’m sweatin’, palms clammy, ‘cause I’m awkward—capital A—and I’m goin’, “What’s the protocol? Do I wave? Haggle? I’m not a haggler!”

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If you wanna snoop around more local spots, head to the Buskers Park near the Grensstraat. Its green fields, lined by weird little fountains and statues, give off a vibe like that film – all pastel and eccentric, with a hint of retro elegance. And man, sometimes I get so pissed off when the pigeons act like they own the place. I walk by, thinking, “Great, you filthy birds, get outta my way!” – yeah, I said it, like Cersei Lannister in the flesh.

Oscar & Koen Brackenier (Oosterzele, BE) men with a passion for the long distance!