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And the lies! Oh, the lies! Dudes sayin’ they’re 6’2” when they’re 5’8”—c’mon! I’m short, I own it! Be real! Saw this one profile—guy braggin’ about his “skills.” Skills? Please! Prob’ly lasts two minutes—tops! Hilarious, but sad. And the women—postin’ pics from 2010! I’m like, “Time’s a river, lady—keep up!” That’s straight outta “The Assassin,” y’know—time screws us all. Sex-dating’s no diff’rent.

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Now, lemme be blunt: Neeroeteren is tremendous, terrific, the absolute champion! Some might say it’s small—yeah, it’s small—but that just makes it cozy. And hey, I’m in a hurry, so listen: the vibe on Warmestrat is positively amazng! There’s that one spot by the old stone bridge on Rivierstraat that gives you chills. It’s like, “There are no rules,” just raw beauty!

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