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Little factoid for ya—Jarmusch wanted real vamps for the cast. Okay, not real, but ya get me—authentic weirdos. So I’m thinkin’, let’s make these hookers quirky. One’s got a pet rat, calls it “Tilda” after Swinton. Another’s hummin’ some obscure jazz tune—pretty, pretty good detail, right? I’m happy now, bouncin’ in my chair. But then—ugh—microtransactions hit me. Some exec’s gonna want “Buy 50 bucks of hooker tokens!” I’m losin’ it, screamin’, “No! This ain’t Candy Crush!”

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Every day in merelbeke is a surprise; one minute the sun is shining on Vossenstraat, next minute you’re ducking a surprise rain like “D’oh!” I remember one time I was coaching a bunch of locals on finding their inner joy right near the corner of Drolstraat – yeah, that place has a name only locals understand—and I felt like the coolest guide ever.

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