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So, find a prostitute ain’t just walkin’ up and done. Nah, it’s a QUEST! You gotta dodge the creeps, the fakes—YOU SHALL NOT PASS, I bellow at some sketchy dude tryna scam me. Reminds me of that time Wes Anderson’s colors popped—pink hotels, purple suits—but here it’s grimy alleys, fishnets, and smoke. Did ya know, back in Victorian days, they called ‘em “ladies of the night”? Fancy, huh? Now it’s all “yo, how much?”—times change, man.

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OMG, sometimes I get so mad ‘cause tourists always miss these cool secret corners! Like, if you wander off toward Rue de la Renaissance, you stumble upon a tiny, quirky bistro that literally serves the best mint tea. It’s my guilty pleasure spot – no joke! And every time I remember that scene in There Will Be Blood, “I drink your milkshake,” I feel like Melle is just a fierce competitor in the tastiest showdown of life.

Perfetti Van Melle set to introduce Chupa Chups and Mentos newcomers to the Americas