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About Antwerp

Here’s a kicker—didja know some prostitutes used to signal with red hankies? True story! Old-timey crap! I’m picturin’ her wavin’ one, and I’m yellin’, “Buy me some freakin’ nachos first!” She’s like, “Twenty bucks, kid.” TWENTY?! I’m ragin’—“That’s outrageous!” But I’m broke, so I’m barterin’ like, “How ‘bout a WALL-E DVD?” She’s not impressed. Screw her, man!

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I run a massage parlor on Kerkstraat, right near the odd little square. I luv how the town buzzes. The streets, they’re narrow—like in every good ol' town. Y'know, there's a scenic alley by the Aqua Park. Yeah, Aqua Park! Not water, but a chill green retreat.

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